Are You an "In-Between" Drinker?
Welcome to The Alcohol Reset, the podcast that helps you reset your habits, health, and relationship with alcohol without judgment or extremes. If you're looking to cut back, take a break, or just understand how drinking can affect your body and mind, you're in the right place. Each episode brings you science backed insights on neuroscience, nutrition, and habit change to help you feel better, sleep deeper, and take control on your terms. This podcast is brought to you by Cloud Nine, makers of Daily Restore, a once a day supplement to support your body from alcohol's effects, and rise and unwind AMPM, a twenty four hour combo to curb cravings, balance mood, and improve sleep when taking a break. Go to try cloud9.com and use the code podcast to save 15% on your next order.
Speaker 1:I'm Mike Hardenbrook, best selling author, neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert. I've helped thousands through my book and podcast to rethink their drinking, and now I'm here to help you do the same. Let's get started. Today, we're going to explore something that well, it's a bit of a gray area, something I call in between drinking. We talk a lot about healthy drinking habits, and then there's the other end of the spectrum, alcohol use disorder.
Speaker 1:But what about all the folks who fall somewhere in between? That's what we're unpacking today. I'm journaling what I learned while researching and writing my book, No Willpower Required, which is all about using a neuroscience based approach to change your habits with alcohol. And one of the things that became crystal clear is that the traditional conversation around drinking can feel really, I don't know, limiting. Like, you either fit into this neat little box of moderate drinker or you get slapped with a label that can feel pretty heavy, but the reality is far more nuanced than that.
Speaker 1:Right? There's this whole swath of people whose experience with alcohol just doesn't fit those need categories. So let's define what we're talking about when we say in between drinking. Essentially, it encompasses those patterns of alcohol consumption that well, they fall between what's generally considered low risk or healthy drinking and a full blown diagnosis of AUD. And a really important distinction here, and I think this is often missed, is the element of control.
Speaker 1:You see, people in this in between zone, they typically haven't experienced that same loss of control over their drinking that's so characteristic of AUD. And while their drinking might definitely have some negative impacts on their lives, they're usually not as severe or as devastating as what someone with severe AUD might be grappling with. I remember coming across a statistic that really drove this point home. The CDC journal preventing chronic disease reported that, get this, one in three adults who drink are classified as excessive drinkers. That's huge.
Speaker 1:Right? I mean, that's a massive portion of the population. But here's the thing that really blew my mind. Nine out of ten of those excessive drinkers, they're not alcohol dependent. So that begs the question, right, if the vast majority of people drinking excessively aren't clinically dependent, why is it still so darn difficult for so many of them to, you know, change their habits?
Speaker 1:One of the key differences I've observed is that, you know, with AUD, there's often this really clear, sometimes even dramatic defining moment. Could be a job loss, a health scare that really shakes them up a relationship falling apart, some of it really forces them to, like, confront their drinking head on. But for those of us in this in between zone, the motivations tend to be a bit different, a bit more subtle. We might wanna cut back or stop for a whole host of reasons. Maybe you wanna improve our overall health, feel more energetic, reduce that nagging anxiety, sleep better, just be more mentally sharp.
Speaker 1:But and here's the catch. The negative consequences of our drinking, you know, those pesky hangovers, the low grade anxiety, it seems to linger, not sleeping as soundly as we could. They're not great, but they're often not severe enough to trigger that, you know, immediate drastic change. It's easy to rationalize. Right?
Speaker 1:Oh, it's just a social gathering, or it's a holiday, or I had a really stressful day. You know, we make these commitments to ourselves to drink less, and then what life happens, old habits creep back in, those social pressures get to us, and before we know it, we're right back where we started. The discomfort. It just isn't quite painful enough to, like, outweigh that immediate gratification. Now you might be listening to this and thinking, okay, Mike.
Speaker 1:Where do I fit into all of this? Am I an in between drinker? So let's look at a few key characteristics that often show up in this in between zone. First off, there's inconsistency. Your drinking patterns, they're not a steady predictable thing.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you might be totally moderate, a drink or two here and there, or even go days or weeks without alcohol. But then there are other times when your consumption, well, it feels excessive, maybe more than you planned or wanted. Sound familiar? Another really common sign is this feeling of ambivalence. You have these mixed emotions swirling around your drinking.
Speaker 1:Part of you genuinely enjoys the social aspect, that feeling of unwinding with the drink, but you're also becoming increasingly aware of the downsides, the fuzzy mornings, the regrets, the impact on your energy. It's like this constant internal tug of war. And then there's the issue of functioning, and this one could be kinda tricky. Despite your alcohol consumption, you're generally able to keep up with your major responsibilities. Your job, your family life, those essential obligations, they're all getting done.
Speaker 1:And because things seem okay on the surface, it can be harder to, you know, acknowledge that there might be an underlying pattern that you'd like to change. You might also notice a lack of consistent control. In some situations, it's easy for you to stick to one drink or even skip alcohol altogether. You've got this. No problem.
Speaker 1:But then in other settings, maybe a party or when you're feeling super stressed, that ability to regulate your intake just seems to vanish. And lastly, there's often this absence of those really severe life altering consequences. You haven't had a major health crisis directly related to alcohol, no DUIs, no serious damage to your closest relationships, you're probably still experiencing some negative effects. Even if they seem relatively minor, those regular hangovers, feelings of guilt or shame after drinking more than you intended, maybe noticing that your fitness isn't what it used to be, those things all count. Now it's super important to remember that even within this in between category, there's a whole spectrum of experiences.
Speaker 1:To illustrate this, let's imagine a few different scenarios. These are kinda like composites based on the stories I've heard and the patterns I've observed over the years. Let's say we have Chris. He's in his early forties, and what started as just, you know, social drinking in his twenties gradually morphed into a nightly glass or two of wine to de stress after work. Over time though, his tolerance has gone up, and that one glass is often turned into, well, closer to a bottle.
Speaker 1:Now he's dealing with frequent hangovers that mess with his mornings. His anxiety is noticeably higher. He's not sleeping well. He kind of feels stuck in this routine, but he doesn't necessarily see himself as someone who needs or even wants complete sobriety. Then there's Christina.
Speaker 1:After having her two kids, that evening glass of wine became this daily ritual, a way to unwind. And while it hasn't had these huge negative consequences in her life, it's consistently getting in the way of her efforts to lose weight. So she keeps finding herself in this cycle of, like, intending to cut back and then giving in at the end of a long day. The desire to change is there, but the motivation just feels weak. And how about Wayne?
Speaker 1:He works his tail off during the week and generally avoids alcohol. But come the weekend, it's a different story. He tends to drink heavily with his buddies while watching sports. And then, of course, Sunday morning rolls around, and he's hit with regrets. He wastes the whole weekend recovering, and there have even been a few embarrassing situations because he went overboard.
Speaker 1:He feels like he just doesn't have the willpower to resist the peer pressure, and he's sick of feeling wiped out every Monday. He really wants to have a healthier relationship with alcohol, but has no clue where to even start. So I'm curious. Do any of those stories resonate with you? Maybe you see bits and pieces of yourself in Chris, Christina, or Wayne, or maybe someone entirely different comes to mind.
Speaker 1:The takeaway here is that in between drinking, it looks different for everyone. But the common thread I see so often is this desire for a different relationship with alcohol without necessarily feeling like you fit into those more extreme categories of alcohol misuse. And here's the other thing I've noticed. You might have even tried looking into resources to help you change your drinking habits and found that a lot of the traditional approaches, they tend to, well, they label anyone who's even questioning their alcohol use as having a serious problem. And while those labels and those support systems are absolutely crucial for some people, for many folks in this in between category, that label just doesn't feel right.
Speaker 1:It can be discouraging, make them feel like those resources aren't really meant for them. So to sum it up, in between drinkers, they're often motivated to change their habits, but they're missing a clear, easy to follow, and relatable road map. And unlike people who hit that rock bottom that forces them to make a change, in between drinkers face the challenge of trying to change without that dramatic catalyst. And to make matters even trickier, our entire society through its social norms and the way alcohol is marketed to us, well, it normalizes, even encourages regular drinking everywhere. It's part of our culture.
Speaker 1:For a long time, the main options for dealing with problematic drinking were pretty limited. It was basically AA or other 12 step programs, which, like I said, are incredible for some people, but not everyone feels comfortable with that approach. Yeah. But what about everyone else? What about the huge group of people who don't feel they belong in that category, but still know deep down that their drinking just isn't aligned with their health and well-being goals.
Speaker 1:That's the gap I'm trying to bridge. Here's the thing I want you to understand. There's a lot of movement possible within this spectrum of drinking habits. In between drinkers, they're not stuck. I mean, yes, it's possible for things to go the other way, for habits to become more ingrained, for drinking to become heavier and more problematic, but and this is the exciting part.
Speaker 1:It's also entirely possible to move in the opposite direction towards lighter, less frequent, and more mindful drinking. It comes down to making informed choices and having the right strategies in place. And here's the thing about deciding to, you know, redefine your relationship with alcohol. It doesn't have to feel like you're being punished or deprived. When you start to shift your perspective, when you really get clear on why you wanna change, it goes from feeling like this huge sacrifice to becoming a conscious, empowering choice you're making for yourself.
Speaker 1:It's about taking a proactive step towards a healthier and more fulfilling life when it's truly aligned with your values. So if you've been listening to this and thinking, yeah, that's me. I recognize myself with some of these patterns. I wanna acknowledge you for that. Just by acknowledging that there's something you wanna change, you're already taking a huge step in the right direction.
Speaker 1:And the truth is, creating meaningful, lasting change in your relationship with alcohol, it's totally doable. It's about understanding the dynamics of play, shifting your perspective, and finding new healthier habits that work for you. And as we wrap up, I wanna leave you with this. Think about where you see yourself on the spectrum of drinking habits we've been exploring, and what's one small manageable step you could take today? Not some huge overwhelming change, but just a little experiment.
Speaker 1:What could you do to start aligning your drinking habits with the kind of life you truly wanna live, with your health goals, with your overall well-being? Just sit with that question for a bit and see what comes up. Until next time. That's a wrap for today's episode. If you got something out of this, do me a quick favor.
Speaker 1:Leave a rating and review on whatever podcast platform you're listening on. It helps keep the show going and would mean the world to me. Got ideas, comments, or questions? Shoot me an email at mike@trycloud9.com. I'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 1:And if you're looking for extra support, check out cloud nine, makers of Daily Restore, a once a day supplement to support your body from alcohol's effects, and Rise and Unwind AMPM, a twenty four hour combo to curb cravings, balance mood, and improve sleep when taking a break. Go to trycloud9.com and use the code podcast to save 15% on your next order. Thanks for listening, and I'll catch you next time.